There is something about a Friday that is just fantastic. Before I cleaned my act up, Friday came and always meant that something was going on, and whatever that thing was, I did not want to miss it. I was kind of like the little kid who can't take a nap when company is over because they are so sure they are going to miss something amazing.
Truth is, especially at the end, there was nothing amazing happening. Well, nothing short of the fact that I survived it being pretty amazing in itself.
Today, what gets me excited is coming home and knowing I get to spend the next two days with my boys and the love of my life. Nothing is better than that. I love Friday. I love getting more and more "domestic" and tonight, sitting on the couch mending my soon-to-be 2nd graders sweater, watching Wuthering Heights while the hubby is doing night work. (I always stay up too late when he does!)
There are hundreds of thousands of people chasing that illusive feeling tonight. That release. That High. That one more night of no responsibility, everyone for themselves. That Love. That Escape. Something to fill that HOLE.
A relationship with My God, and freedom through the 12 steps is the only thing I have found that has given me true release. True Freedom.
I chose a mortgage, crying teething baby and piles of laundry to the emptiness that my old Friday nights carried.
I love my life today. Thank you God that you kept my spirit alive inspite of my attempts to drown it out. I get to love my life today because of you. Thank you,