Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Anniversary

Today's post is a little nostalgic.  Today is my 6 year Anniversay at my place of employment.  At a moment I was over come there today, and almost brought to tears when I thought of where I was emotionally, spiritually and financially in 2006. 

I was renting a room, had left my son with my parents and had been unemployed, jumping to different temp agency jobs whenever they called me in.  I was driving a Mazada 626 that I couldn't afford and subsequently did a voluntary repo on (pretty much meaning I called them and asked they take it before I woke up one morning to find it "gone").  I got so depressed I believed what I thought people were telling me (I wasn't good enough to be around my son) and so I stopped.  I didn't see him for close to 3 weeks I think.  I would come to this job I still have today, and lie when people asked me how he was, and just felt like dying would be easier that taking another breath.  For a period of time the Mazda broke down and I started taking public transit and my watering hole of choice was smack in the middle of my route. Countless times it was HOURS before I made it home.  Once, I didn't.  I stayed the night at a friends after closing the bar down, and went to work the next morning in the same clothes I wore before.

And I thought no one knew I had a problem.

Sometimes (usually Wed. mornings, Son was spent Tue - Thur with his Dad) I would throw up in the ladies room because I was so hung-over, sometimes probably still drunk.  Once a coworker told a manager she could smell it coming through my pores and thought I had a problem, maybe they should talk to me about it.  Manager was my friend so when she called me she said she thought I was fine, and I went with her on it.  Inside, I was mortified and hopeless.  Someone knew.

I have often thanked my employers for allowing me to stay there after I got sober.  I was a freaking WRECK the first 30 days I tell ya!  One of the owners called me in the conference room, sat me down and said "Nicole, what is wrong?! You need to tell me what's going on".  For one of the first times ever I uttered the words "I am an Alcoholic, and a Drug Addict and I am trying to get sober" (insert here me shitting a brick that I just said that, to the "Big Cheese", of all people).  His response....

"Nicole, aren't you glad you are doing this now? (I was 23 years old).  We are your family here and we are going to support you through this"

Whoa... didn't expect that.

4 and one half years later I get to celebrate 6 years with this company.  I can share with you all that I did have immense amounts of support from this family I call Co-workers.  I am now 100% vested in my employer 401k matching contributions (yea me!).  I am considered a valuable part of a team.  I have earned the trust of those I spend 40 hours a week with.  I have learned incredible skills that I will always carry with me where ever I am.  They have seen me at my worst and my best, and they still want me around.

Thank you my wonderful company.  Happy Anniversary :-)

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